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Mixed Mesages
I have decided that I need a sabbatical from ministry-related conferences and seminars for no other reason than that I am getting a little tired of being told that I am a terrible youth pastor and everything I am doing is a waste of time. Maybe I'm alone in feeling this way, but that has been my primary takeaway from the last several that I have attended (and spent hard-earned money on I might add). Perhaps I am a little jaded, but the reality is there is little use denying the fact that an alarmingly high percentage of students are leaving the Church in America never to return and the loudest voices in the ministry field all have the answer on how to turn it around. The problem is, these voices do not seem to agree and their approach in communicating these answers in my opinion, though well-meaning, has lost touch with the actual struggles and hearts of the hard-working men and women who are sacrificing so much to reach the students of this generation. Here are two of the most prominent ministry theories being floated around right now.
It's All About the Parents
At a recent conference in Dallas, I was reminded that parents are the primary influencer in the home, and by reminded, I mean that I was mocked, force-fed consumeristic marketing, and otherwise treated like a ministry-rookie if connecting with parents was not my primary focus. Don't get me wrong, I am a HUGE believer in connecting with parents as they ARE, in fact, the primary influencer in a student's life. The content of the message was not the problem nor was the research behind it. What bothered me was the attitude presenting it combined with a very tunnel-visioned approach to ministry. More on that in a minute.
Get Out of the Office
At a recent seminar presented by a prominent para-church organization I was told that “in order to make a difference” I needed to “get out of my office.” The presenter went on to say in disgust how fed-up he was with all these youth pastors spending so much time in the office when the real ministry happened “out there.” (On a side note, I was also reminded by another presenter that, because I work in rural, small town America I am completely out of touch with the issues of those doing “real” ministry in the urban context. Sorry, there are hurting and broken students in every corner of the globe regardless of ethnic or socioeconomic status).
Again, hear me out. I am a HUGE believer in the truth that it is most often through genuine relationships that students will come to know the love of Christ. My problem was not with the content (except for the whole rural/urban thing) but with the way it was presented.
Realities of the Youth Worker
There were two trends that linked all of the presenters together at the various conferences/seminars I have recently attended. First, they were either university professors or youth pastors at very large churches. I have nothing but respect for these individuals. They certainly know their stuff, but I sometimes wonder if they have forgotten (or never really knew) what it was like to be a youth pastor of a small church. Our challenges, though no more or less difficult than those of a professor or large church youth worker, are entirely unique. First, I am not one of several on staff in the ministry I lead. In essence, I am the senior pastor, worship pastor, pastoral care pastor, secretary, and children's pastor (depending on the currently maturity level of my middle school students) of the small church (i.e. youth ministry) that I lead. I am most certainly not complaining, but that is the reality. I love my job and the people I work with and serve, but when I hear someone tell me that I should devote more of my focus on parents my first question is then “what gets cut?” Then I attend another seminar where I am told to get out of my office because I am missing “real ministry time” and my first question is “then when do I focus on interacting with and resourcing parents?”
The second trend was that, in reality, none of the above mentioned presenters have used their research/methodology to start a revival/renewal/awakening in America. The numbers are actually getting worse not better. Now, that doesn't mean they are wrong, but I am starting to get really suspicious of answers that are the “one big thing” that will change our culture when that “one big thing” is not actually the “One Big Thing.” Yes, Jesus is present in relational ministry and parent connection, but often the programs or emphasis are elevated to saving status instead of what they really are, a way to connect to the Savior.
Closing
If you are a presenter who speaks at youth ministry conferences or seminars (something I doubt because this blog is written by a nobody from nowhere Indiana) let me give you piece of advice. Try mixing in a lot more love and a lot less judgment when you speak next time. I, for one, am not actually a rookie in youth ministry. I've been at it for more than ten years and am mostly through a youth ministry leadership graduate program. I have read dozens of books and even God's Book, but that certainly doesn't make me any kind of expert. I am teachable, but please don't talk to me like I have been wasting all my time all these years because my methodology has not been a carbon copy of yours. Have I been as effective as I could have been? No. Has God used me? Ask some of my former students. I don't say that in pride but with tremendous humility. When I hear stories from former students about how God is working in their lives I stand amazed because I often look at what I am doing and think, “how on earth is God going to be able to use my feeble attempts?” None of us in ministry have the answers but we all have the Answer.
Encourage one another. Stir each other up. But let's never lose our love for one another in the process.
Hebrews 10:23-25
Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.
Posted with BlogsyEvaluation and the Sacred Cow
I have been in full-time youth ministry for going on seven years now and I have come to realize that there is nothing more prevalent and damaging in the ministry world than sacred cows. In case you are not familiar with this term, a sacred cow is basically anything in a ministry that “shall not be killed” for any reason. Often, something reaches sacred cow status because it was perceived, at least at one time, as quite formative, successful, and/or powerful. Sacred cows can range from the ambiance of a worship space to a perennial event such as a retreat or “revival” service. If you have been around a church body for more than five minutes you have probably learned what happens when someone has the gal to threatened this sacred cow. In fact, I’m reasonably certain that Jesus’ statement in John 13:35 that “all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another” has since been amended to include “and agree that no sacred cows will harmed in the process of loving each other.”
Though I am admittedly being facetious, I feel that it is important for ministry leaders to be aware of the sacred cows in our ministry. Right now I am about to embark on my year-end assessment of my entire youth ministry. In my experience, most youth leaders understand the validity of evaluations, especially immediately following an event. The problem is, though we may understand the value of these processes, we often fail to assess in a way that truly lays “all of the cards” on the proverbial table (i.e. we rigorously protect our sacred cows).
A study of the evaluation practices of youth workers conducted Michael K. Severe of Toccoa Falls College revealed evidence of this practice. Severe writes,
“The research reveals conclusions of evaluations are often predetermined. Conclusions are based on previously erected plausibility structures. It is common among respondents to judge a program as effective or successful simply because it matches the stated philosophy, beliefs, or views of the world. Events can be judged as successful, effective, obedient, or faithful prior to actually carrying out the activity.”
At first glance this last statement sounds ludicrous. How can an event/program be considered successful, effective, obedient, or faithful before it ever happens? I believe that it simply cannot be possible, but it happens all the time. Don’t believe me? How many times have you heard the primary justification for doing some event, program, or “way of life” being stated as something like “well, that’s how we’ve always done it”?
So, what is the answer? It is important to note that the following suggestions are rooted in my belief that ministry success can and should be measured. Measurability of success is a topic outside the scope of this particular blog post, but it is certainly worth exploring at a later date.
Asking the RIGHT questions
Ministry leaders are actually pretty good at asking questions, but are they always the right questions? Often, the only questions asked when evaluating an event/program are one’s that deal with attendance numbers or whether or not the participants “enjoyed” it. Numbers are great but only tell a small portion of the story, whereas the “enjoyment” factor is an extremely limited and subjective view that speaks little to the long-term impact.
I would like to highlight one type of inadequate question that Severe identified in his findings: those that reframe data based on assumption. This is the kind of question that “assumes a reality and then pursues that reality by reframing data into the assumptions of the question.” An example of this would be asking the question “how excited are the kids?” In regards to this question, Severe writes, “On one level, it assumes some amount of excitement and focuses on visible external indicators. On another level, it assumes that excitement is a reliable indicator of a desired objective.”
The Right Questions and the Sacred Cow
So, maybe you have stuck with me so far and agree that we need to ask the right questions when evaluating ministry practices. What does that have to do with sacred cows? Well, I firmly believe that in order to effectively evaluate a program/event one must be willing to ask the tough questions that (gasp) might lead to the humane execution of said cow.
As I am about to embark on on my assessment of my ministry I am preparing myself to be willing to sacrifice my own personal sacred cows at the altar of faithfulness to God’s will. That is so much easier said than done. One of my sacred cows {worship services for teenagers} is rooted in some Biblical practices, but if I’m being honest, my attachment to it is based more on personal affinity and history. If I want to truly evaluate the effectiveness of this program I need to ask questions are true and honest, willing to see if it is a cow that needs to be turned into steak (hmmm… steak).
Conclusion
It is important to note that not all sacred cows need to be sacrificed. They may be sacred because they are, in fact, still quite effective. However, evaluative practices are rendered impotent by an unwillingness to examine EVERYTHING, not just the cows that are less sacred.
Musings about Board Meetings
Why do I enjoy board meetings? Is there something wrong with me? I'm actually being quite serious. With all the craziness my last couple of weeks have brought, I completely forgot that I had a board meeting last night until just before lunch time. When I was reminded, I was actually excited! Why? It's simple. I like it when leaders come together to try to get on the same page.
Our board of elders gets together once a month to discuss everything from spiritual direction to business. Needless to say, like most board meetings of this nature, they tend to go for hours… and hours… and hours. Sure, this sometimes wears on everyone, but the things we are talking about (for the most part) are the things that excite me. In truth, if they didn't excite me doesn't that mean I am in the wrong career?
Now, it is true that there is a lot of time wasted and not everything we spend time talking about is the best use of our time, but what I have appreciated about my first year of meetings at this church is that the people on this board seem to genuinely care about following God's leading. We don't always agree, but that also is a good thing.
Another enlightening element of these meetings is to be able to see a bird's eye view of where we are starting to stray from the right focus. A couple of times the board has spent a considerable amount of time debating or discussing an issue when someone stops the discussion with the realization that we have long since gotten off track of our calling with the issue at hand. It is when we are all together watching each other process this information that these “aha” moments happen.
I am such a fan of board meetings that I want more! “Crazy!” you might be thinking. “Somebody get him some medication” others might be thinking as they delete my URL from their computer to never see my site again. Why would I want more? As our children's ministry leader pointed out, how can we claim to be on the same page spiritually when we only really see each other one night per month? Where is the time for the true genuine prayer?
Recently I read the Upper Room account in Acts and a question popped into my mind. If we took a dozen and change of the most high-powered church leaders into a sealed room for an indefinite amount of time, how long would it take before the dry-erase boards came out and the program planning began? Days and days spent only in prayer? Isn't that a tremendous waste of time?
How can we lead without being bound together in prayer? That is why I wish we could meet more. Getting together to meet and discuss “business” is fruitful. What would regular times of prayer accomplish?
Reflections on Prayer
It has been a little while since I have posted. Today, I have decided to post a short essay that I wrote recently for my graduate studies in a class called “Thinking Theologically.” For this class we read a book titled A Praying Life: Connecting with God in a Distracting World by Paul E. Miller. This essay was an assignment for us to reflect on what we had learned. What follows are my reflections. I chose not to edit it in any way from the submitted form.
The way that I have chosen to write this paper is a reflection of what I believe God has been trying to teach me about prayer over the past fourteen months. Originally, when I sat down to type this paper I created a detailed outline with my three-to-five points that were decently backed up by both the texts we have read in this class and scripture. The problem was, I found myself writing about the importance and power of prayer while not actually taking the time to pray in the process. This has been the story of discipleship journey. I am constantly “doing” but rarely allowing myself to simply “be”. I have decided to write about one aspect of the practice of prayer that can and has informed my ability to have the mind of Christ and think theologically about all things. That practice is stillness.
Theology and The Mind of Christ
If theology is “human reflection on who God is and how God works in the world” according to Starting Right then it makes sense that human reflection is a key ingredient to thinking theologically (Dean, 29). The use of the word “reflection” struck me in two ways. First, an object that is reflecting something is being changed by what it is revealing. For instance, when I stand if front of a mirror I do not change, the picture on the mirror does (not technically, but the illustration connected for me). If I am going to reflect on who God is and how God works, what is revealed should change me. Second, when I think of human reflection, I think of a process not an event. It is time consuming.
Paul backs up this idea of “process “when he says in Romans 12:2, “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind…” (NIV). Again, this sounds like an active process, not a simple quick fix that fits neatly into my compartmentalized life.
American Christianity: A Story of Martha
In “A Praying Life”, Paul Miller writes, “American culture is probably the hardest place in the world to learn to pray. We are so busy that when we slow down to pray, we find it uncomfortable…It feels useless, as if we are wasting time. Every bone in our bodies screams, “Get to work” (15). That statement has pretty much described my internal conflict with developing a praying life. A desire to be faithful to Christ’s calling has been an excuse to become unfaithful in my relationship with Him. We live in a culture that holds success up as though it is gospel. Though success is a value that I believe that Jesus holds as well, I do not believe that the American ideal of success is the same as God’s.
I am reminded of the story of Jesus’ interaction with Mary and Martha in Luke 10:38-42. If I am being honest, I am very much like Martha. When I read books about prayer and the benefits of time spent in stillness I feel like asking Jesus to tell the Marys/authors to stop talking about prayer and get to work alongside me. When it comes down to it, where does sitting at the feet of Jesus fit into my schedule?
The Gospel and Suffering
One of the most stunning thoughts brought forth by Miller in “A Praying Life” was when he said, “gospel stories always have suffering in them. American Christianity has an allergic reaction to this part of the gospel. We’d love to hear about God’s love for us, but suffering doesn’t mesh with our right to ‘the pursuit of happiness.’ So we pray to escape a gospel story, when that is the best gift the Father can give us” (214). For the last fourteen months I have battled one medical ailment after another. Though they have all been unrelated, they have shared one common trait. They have all forced me to cut back on my “doing” and rest. I have prayed over and over for God to end my suffering. What hit me when I read this is that maybe this is the Gospel at work in my life. God has answered my desire to develop a praying life by forcing me to be like Mary instead of Martha.
Be Still and Know
Perhaps Psalms 46:10 best sums up my thoughts by saying, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth” (NIV). I believe that the study or discovery of theology exists so that humans can know God. We can never understand Him, but to know that Jesus is God brings the understanding of how He interacts with us. What I have come to love about this verse is that stillness is required to know that He is God. I have learned that the the hard way, but I am beginning to rejoice in my weaknesses because they are leading me closer in communion with Christ.
Conclusion
My primary take-away about how prayer helps me to think theologically and take on the mind of Christ is that prayer is what leads me into the stillness, the quiet place where I can shut down my desire for “doing” and just sit at my Savior’s feet. One of the first times in as long as I can remember that I experienced this was sitting on the beach in Florida working on the assignment for this class in January. Since then, I have regularly built in times of stillness. Sometimes I sit in silence and pray. Other times, when I am stressed or down I pull out my guitar and worship, using music as the vessel for my prayers. I have been amazed that in the lack of “doing” I have discovered the joys of “being”.
The Same-Sex Marriage Debate: Does it Even Matter?
Lately, I have been asked repeatedly to write about my stance on same-sex marriage. It was a challenge that I had been looking forward to since it is something that I am passionate about. You should see my pages and pages of notes (i.e. Evernote virtual pages). They are pretty extensive. Today was marked out as the day I was going to sit down and craft my well-thought out and even better defended post. Then it hit me. What’s the point? Why would the world need to hear these thoughts? I realized that it didn’t. It was a profound moment when I finally accepted the fact that the same sex-marriage debate doesn’t matter at all.
Is it possible that we are going about this all wrong? Though I think my stance would have shocked some people, I realized that my opinions are just my attempt at righteousness which is nothing more than filthy rags (Isaiah 64:6). What is the point of trying to prove one side of the debate? I mean, really, since when did the importance of winning an argument slip into the Great Commission? Is it possible that we, as Christ’s Church, have started a coup to take over the role of Savior and Holy Spirit in our world?
A Question of Faith
At a discussion with other youth pastors this morning we were all reminiscing about how much we loved the character of Jack Bauer from the TV show 24. I remarked how silly it was that six seasons in he was still having to convince people to trust him. I mean, come on! Didn’t he already save the world like five times? As I write this post it hits me like a punch in the stomach that this is how I treat Jesus. I mean, come on! Didn’t He save the world already? Shouldn’t I trust Him by now?!?
This debate about same-sex marriage really comes down to how much I believe in the power of Jesus Christ. I love Leonard Sweet and Frank Viola’s view of Christianity:
“So what is Christianity? It is Christ. Nothing more. Nothing less. Christianity is not an ideology or a philosophy. Neither is it a new type of morality, social ethic, or worldview. Christianity is the “good news” that beauty, truth, and goodness are found in a person. And true humanity and community are founded on and experienced by connection to that person.”
Christianity is Christ. The Gospel is summed up in Him. He is the Author and Perfecter of our faith (Hebrews 12:2). The question is, do we trust Jesus? If Jesus leads people from darkness into light, then why are we screaming so much about the darkness? It’s there. We know it. Jesus knows it. The problem is, the lost won’t realize that it is dark until we show them what the opposite looks like. Think about it. If all you had ever known was darkness, would it bother you that you couldn’t see very well? No. But when someone turned on the lights for the first time and you saw all that Jesus had created for us to enjoy, wouldn’t you finally understand how blind you were?
If we believe that Jesus is who He says He is and will do what He says He will do, then our job is actually quite simple. Let’s show people the Light that is the Person known as Jesus Christ. We should have faith enough to know that He is pretty good at the whole convicting and cleansing thing.
When does moral living matter?
Who do Jesus and the Apostles target the most when it comes to moral living? Believers. The Epistles are written to who again? Jesus flipped over tables and busted out his Indiana Jones whip against who? I absolutely believe that we have a responsibility as Christ’s Church to remain faithful to the teachings of Christ, up to an including the things mentioned in the “clobber verses” used in the same-sex marriage debate like 1 Corinthians 6:9-10. My question to you is, does someone living in the sins listed in these verses have to clean up their act before approaching Christ? I would hope that you would respond with a resounding “no”. Purification, transformation, and other popular words used in Christianity happen after we come to Christ. Again, do we trust Jesus to weed these sin issues out of those who seek Him or are we going to keep trying to do it for Him?
Our poor, depraved culture
I’ve got news for all the Christians who are quaking in fear over where our culture is headed: persecution has ALWAYS been the best thing for the Church. What happened when the Christians were forced to scatter from Jerusalem in the 1st century? What happened in Communist-controlled countries in the 21st century? What is happening all around the world at this very minute in nations where publicly identifying yourself as a Christian is a death-wish? The Church is UNSTOPPABLE.
Now, contrast that with America. What has happened to the spiritual state of our so-called Christian nation? In our nation, people are fleeing the church in record numbers. I work in youth ministry. Never before have we seen so many students leave the church after they graduate high school. The paltry numbers that return a decade later should be a wake-up call to the American church. Christians from around the world are looking at our “system” and seeing that it simply isn’t working. Comfort and Gospel never seem to go together very well. I will change my tune when you can show me in Scripture where the Church was commanded to form a Christian nation free of immoral people. It’s not there because that is not our mission. Our mission is to point people to Jesus Christ.
What is my point?
Our mission is simple. Show the lost who Jesus is, what He has done, and what He wants to do for us. How do we do that? Well, Jesus provided a pretty good template. Sure, when asked my thoughts about same-sex marriage and alternate lifestyles I will not hesitate to speak the Truth because I have faith that it will bring freedom, but the message that I think the world needs to hear from me is not my opinions but an introduction to my Savior. He is Christianity. He is the Gospel.
Conclusion
It is sad how much time, resources, and energy the church in America has devoted to debating same-sex marriage. Imagine what could happen if we, instead, devoted ourselves to issues like human trafficking. What would happen if we invested less in our buildings and more in our mission? Well, I guess that’s a post for another day. To conclude, I’m done arguing positions with the lost. Instead, I’ll show them Jesus and trust Him to do the work of changing hearts.
Thoughts? Comments?
ReBlog: A Letter to Victoria’s Secret From a Father
Here’s the link to a great, through-provoking article from a father regarding the image that Victoria’s Secret is creating for young teen girls.
Fostering Creativity and Imagination
It seems to me that creativity and imagination is a dying art. They, of course, will always be present, but with the shocking amount of time kids spend in front of TV’s and video games, it’s no wonder that interest in the arts seems to be waning as each generation progresses. Don’t believe me? Look no further than fact that high schools continue to cut out their performing and fine arts programs. For several years there have been numerous campaigns to increase the funding of these programs in high schools, but I want to suggest that perhaps the solution needs to start much, much younger.
Who has time?
I get it. As a father of an almost-three-year-old, there are times when it is just easier to let him play on his iPad or watch some TV. Let me share an example. After a very long, but fun weekend I came home last Saturday night with my family and I was flat out exhausted. My knees hurt, my back hurt, and I was ready to just curl up on the couch and read a book. I knew that I had two ways to keep Carter busy. I could turn on the TV or hand him his iPad. Now, both of those options contain educational programming so I would have felt justified. Instead, Carter begged me to play with him. I spent the next hour engaged in epic battles between Toy Story, Megamind, and Batman toys. Then we built a fort out of blankets and chairs. At different times we were either hiding in the fort from the dinosaurs or we were inviting them in for lunch. I was never really quite sure what was going on, but Carter had it all figured out in his head. When we finished I was far more sore and tired than when we had begun, but the exhilarated look on my son’s face made it more than worth it.
Many could argue that time spent in front of screens can foster creativity, something I would agree with. That said, as a former creative kid, I can assure you that any time an image is placed in front of you it automatically stifles part of the creative muse within. When you use someone else’s imagination, you are bound by the rules of his/her universe. There were no rules to Carter’s universe as Megamind did battle with Buzz Lightyear, nor did they exist when the very same dinosaur that wanted to eat us also enjoyed joining us for a meal of plastic lemons in our fort. Plus, we had the added benefit of imagining together in a real, physical universe as father and son, something that no Apple product (as glorious as it might be) can fully replicate.
My Childhood
medieval sword, cowboy gun, and pogo stick? why not!
One of the many things my parents did right was to foster an environment that encouraged imagination. I consider myself fortunate to have grown up in the era before the ubiquity of TV’s in every room of the house and video game systems to match. I had toys, my brother and sister, my parents, friends on my street, and books. Those were the only tools I needed. I can still remember some of the ridiculously imaginative and elaborate plots I would create with G.I. Joes and the like. Reading was not something forced on us, it was the highlight of the day. My mom would read to us at lunch (I was homeschooled until seventh grade), and my dad would often read to me in bed. Even as a younger child I can remember my dad reading me books like Ivanhoe and The Last of the Mohicans. They stretched me, forced me to employ my imagination in everything that I did.
Many years (and decades) later
It’s no surprise that both my sister and I are creative types. She writes for her successful blog and co-authors curriculum with her husband. In the past twelve months I have completed two novels and spent much of my 20′s as a professional musician in Nashville, Tennessee working as a guitar player, writer, and producer. I’m not saying these things to brag but rather to illustrate that creativity and imagination come from nurture as well as nature. I firmly believe that I have my parents and upbringing to thank for my imagination and creative abilities.
Conclusion
Though this may not have been the most profound post of all time, I hope that if you are a parent you take advantage of the opportunities to encourage creativity and imagination with your child. Engage in imaginative play, even when you don’t feel like it. Read early and often. Encourage creativity as an identifier of success. Not only will your child reap the benefits, but you will encounter numerous blessings along the way.
Questions? Comments? How have creativity and imagination formed the person you are today? How can you encourage that with your child?
Leading Worship With My Wife
Here’s a video of my wife and I singing “I Am Set Free” by All Sons and Daughters while we lead worship during our Middle School Worship Service. It’s such a privilege to be able to serve with my beautiful wife.
Derrick Rose and the Real World
Why Real-Life Role Models Matter
First off, I need to give a disclaimer: I am a rabid Chicago Bulls (and therefore, Derrick Rose) fan. I have a lot of respect for D. Rose’s work ethic, and he seems to be a relatively decent role model as far as today’s professional sports stars are concerned. My question that I would like to pose is, “Are sports stars healthy role models for adolescents today?”
Yesterday I read like the thousandth article about whether or not Derrick Rose is going to be able to return during the 2012-2013 NBA season. Rose’s response to this reporter’s question was quite interesting. When asked about the possibility of returning this season he basically replied, “I’ll be able to come back to play when I feel normal.” Now, far be it from me to question his decision. As everyone around him has said, only he can know his own body. But when I read that something really struck me. Never before had I realized how drastically unrealistic the life of a professional athlete is from the life of pretty much every other person in America. Seriously, can you imagine telling your boss that you’re not coming back to work until you feel normal? If I did that, I would have missed the last 12 months as I have had one medical issue after another, and I know that I am blessed immeasurably compared to many people in this world.
“So what? Why does that matter?” you might be asking yourself. In an American society where the gap between generations is growing exponentially, adolescents are left with little in the way of role models that they can know and can know them. Instead, young people are left with athletes, TV and movie stars, and other kinds of people that simply don’t live in the “real” world. Believe me, I am not against the idea of professional sports, but if athletes like Derrick Rose are all a young student has to look up to, how is he/she supposed to learn the skills necessary for life in the real world?
The Bible has a pretty clear answer.
“Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it.” – Proverbs 22:6
Parents, we need to stop outsourcing the mentoring of our students. This is coming from a “professional mentor” of teenagers (i.e. youth pastor). I think there is certainly a place for youth pastors and other mentors in a Christian teen’s life, but it should never be in place of his/her Christian parents.
What if the teen does not have Christian parents? Well, the answer still is not professional athletes. Have you ever heard the phrase, “It takes a village…”? I think that is quite Biblical. Look through Scripture and you will see example after example of Godly men and women mentoring young people.
Closing
I realize that for some this is hardly a novel concept. It just struck me that our the role of mentor given to parents and the Church by God can never be relinquished to “stars” no matter how much integrity they may possess. Mentorship is more than just modeling good character qualities in front of a camera. What students need is to see broken, imperfect mentors who can model Christ-like humility in the real world on a daily basis.
Questions? Comments? Who has served as a role model in your life?
What’s So Amazing About Your Grace?
Easter is just a few weeks away and it seems that it is about time that most Christians celebrate the grace Jesus showed for us by dying on the cross (actually, we should be celebrating that daily, but that’s another post for another time). We sing songs that celebrate the wonder of our Savior’s sacrifice. You’d be hard pressed to find a Christian this time of year that doesn’t at least on some level appreciate the fact that Jesus died for us despite the fact that we certainly didn’t deserve it. That is all well and good, but I wan’t to ask you something. What’s so amazing about your grace?
Recently, my eyes have been opened to how critical Christians in America have become. Read my post on the last election to hear my thoughts on that subject. It seems like we have taken it upon ourselves to make sure every flaw, every mistake that someone makes is pointed out. We are, after all, Christians. Aren’t we supposed to be a light so that we can point out the darkness? No, that is not what it means to be the light in darkness. A lamp doesn’t light your way by run around beating the darkness out of the room. It attracts you to the source so that you can see more clearly.
I would like to share a few basic principles about what it means to be a Christian that I feel most of us love to ignore.
The Speck Police
Isn’t it fun to point out the mistakes other people make? If we are being honest, when we see flaws in others it makes us feel better about ourselves. The problem is, according to Jesus, all this does is distract us from the greater flaws found in our own hearts.
“1 Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. 2 For you will be treated as you treat others. The standard you use in judging is the standard by which you will be judged.
3 And why worry about a speck in your friends eye when you have a log in your own? 4 How can you think of saying to your friend, Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye, when you cant see past the log in your own eye? 5 Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friends eye.” – Matthew 7:1-5
Is there any way that Jesus could have been more clear about this hypocritical attitude that is like a cancer in churches today? How many times have you complained about a pastor, worship leader, family member, or politician recently? I’m not talking about sin issues here. I’m talking about personality flaws, stylistic differences, and mistakes made.
In case you do not know this, let me be the first person to let you in on a secret. For every weakness, flaw, or mistake that you find in someone else that you feel justified in complaining about, another person could probably find just as many in you. We are human beings that are deeply flawed. If we were not we wouldn’t need a gospel. Never lose sight of the fact that Jesus did not place you on this earth as His personal officer in the “Speck Police.” Focus on selflessly and humbly removing the plank from your own eye instead of running around hitting every social media site to complain about someone else’s speck.
Feeling Offended vs. Being Offended
I will make a bold statement that there is a world of difference between feeling offended and being offended. Sometimes people commit an offense against another person because of sinful actions. However, just because you feel offended it does not mean that a sin has been committed. Why can I say that with 100% certainty? Well, because I know that Jesus never sinned, but plenty of people felt offended by Him. Here are just a few examples:
- At one point his family was offended
- At one point religious teachers were offended
- At one point His own disciples were offended
An interesting point to add to the last one is that a large number of disciples left His ministry because of feelings of offense. Notice that Jesus does not chase after a single one of them or change His methodology to soothe egos. Though it should never be anyone’s goal to cause feelings of offense, just because they exist does not imply the presence of sin. When you feel offended, have you ever checked your heart to make sure you’re not the one who is in the wrong?
If a genuine offense has, in fact, been committed due to sinful actions, then Jesus provided a very clear solution for that one as well. You can read about my thoughts on resolving conflict through the principles of Matthew 18 here.
Make Allowance for Faults
What would the Church look like if we showed just a fraction of the amazing grace that we have been given so freely?
“12 Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. 13 Make allowance for each others faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. 14 Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. 15 And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful.” – Colossians 3:12-15
Make allowance for each others faults… what a profound way to be the Church.
Closing
The Church seems so stoppable right now. I wonder how much of that is because we are spending so much time trying to find and correct the faults of everyone around us that we have stopped trying to be transformed into the disciples of Christ that we are called to be. It is not my job to fix everything about the people I work with and serve under. What amazing freedom!
Let us be more like our Savior and make it our mission in life to show as much amazing grace as we have been given.
Thoughts? Questions? How have you shown amazing grace in your life?
